Today I chopped my hair, something new and exciting! Something fun to represent a new beginning.... I smiled the whole time it was being done. AND then, I got back in my car and cried, not about my hair, not about my new beginning, just about the same ole shit. The damn cloud was still hanging over my car, I guess. I had to go home to deal with the same shit, I guess. The short party was over. The headache could come back now.
I came home on my day off and crawled into my everlasting safe place, bed. A friend called around 4pm., and we talked for an hour or so. It was a sad and forced conversation for both of us, if we were both being honest. Hard to believe we actually stretched it for an hour. I ended up calling him back and with a brief cry, and we had a more honest conversation. Did it accomplish anything? Hell no. Do I feel better? Hell no. But, alas, I do have a more defined headache.
I have four cats, and two old dogs that depend on me. It would be entirely selfish on my part to kill myself now. Lily is all but attached to me, let alone Star. I've thought of taking them with me but that seems so morally wrong, I don't know how to even think much further beyond that. Maybe I need to consult sometype of counsel; as in a religious counsel. Just an idea. Kinda of a strange idea given I have no respect for religion. Hmmm?
Doesn't look like anyone is dying tonight...at least not on purpose. Arguement with sis might be on the table ....or not...we shall see?
Heading with Sis to see Pops up at the V.A. tonight. Not a good topic, which is another bad topic...maybe we'll cover that tomorrow or who knows, later tonight.
TTFN!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment